Castaway
by Tenchi -J. Hahn
Summary: Ultimate Survivor as the Tenchi Tribe takes on ... the castaways of Gilligan's Island?? In memory of Tenchi's Karaoke Party.


* * *

The following story was first presented in serial form in a Yahoo! club called Tenchi's Karaoke Party, or TKP. TKP was a kick-ass place. If classed as a star, it would have been a white-hot Class O, big, bright, beautiful, short lived, doomed to supernova in a fraction of the time given to boring, mundane stars. And so it did. I am perhaps the only person who still morns it's passing, and I will honor it's memory for the rest of my life. That may sound strange to you, but those who know me will understand, for I have a rather unique perspective of commitment, and a special relationship with time. As Thoreau so exactly observed in Walden, "As he made no compromise with Time, Time kept out of his way, and only sighed at a distance because he could not overcome him." 

Tenchi Muyo and all their wonderful characters are the property of AIC. Gilligan's Island is owned by somebody, no doubt, and if they send a lawyer, I've got my rocket sled ready .....

* * *

Washu cried, And the winner of Challenge #6 is ... the TENCHI TRIBE! The other six members of the Tenchi Tribe cheered. That makes the score Tenchi Tribe -6- Gilligan Tribe -0-!  
  
Now, wait a minute, Miss Washu, objected the Skipper. I don't think that was a fair challenge!  
  
What? Two women on a desert island come across a valuable tool at the same time and they fight over it. It could happen!  
  
Yeah, but your Kiyone is a police officer trained in the martial arts! Ginger didn't stand a chance!  
  
It seemed like a fair contest from where I stood, and I think Ginger would agree with me, if she were still conscious. Washu shook her head. It's always something with you, isn't it, Skipper? Mr. Howell can't fly.' Mary-Ann hasn't got a force field.' Mrs. Howell's never used a sword before.' Gilligan can't cook.' I don't look good in a bikini.'  
  
You're quite the whiner, Skipper, you know that?  
  
But, tell ya what I'm gonna do. Since I don't want any back-talk when it comes time to pay up, I'm willing to wipe the slate clean. What do you say, Skipper? One last challenge, for control of the island. The last two challengers, me and your Professor, for all the marbles. What do ya say?  
  
Same victory conditions as before?  
  
That's right! Winner gets the island, loser leaves everything and starts swimming! Well, Skipper?  
  
The Skipper paused a second, then went for it. We'll do it! Come on, Professor! Don't let us down!'  
  
I'll try my best, Skipper, said the Professor.  
  
In the evening, the two tribes stood by the lagoon, the beach lit with torches.  
  
Gather round, everyone! yelled Washu. She held up a wicker basket I shall now draw, at random, the seventh and final Challenge!  
  
Mr. Howell leaned next to his wife. You know, Lovie, that little red-headed girl has lots of spunk, but I can't help but think at times that this thing is rigged!  
  
Washu rummaged through the basket and pulled a long slip of paper. She read, Challenge Number Seven: Find a way off the island!  
  
  
  
Number seven: Find a realistic way to get back to Hawaii. Sounds like something castaways would try to do, said Washu.  
  
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of, said the Professor. If we could find a way home, we wouldn't have needed to even do this challenges!  
  
Then I guess you're admitting defeat, eh? Washu took two torches and walked over to a large shadow at the water's edge. The torches lit a large canvas, which Washu grabbed hold of. Behold! My latest and greatest invention! She pulled away the cover. The Washu Desperation Rocket Sled!  
  
It was a monster built of wood, wicker and bamboo, held together with line and linen. It had a back firewall and seven seats, three pair behind a pilot. The frame rested on old oil drums, and and it all sat on a bamboo lattice that stretched off into the darkness.  
  
You thought we were tricking you and you were right! Washu's voice trailed the edge of madness. While you were preparing for these stupid games, we used the time to prepare our escape!  
  
The Skipper stared at the sled. You mean, you used the time to ransack our huts! Most of this stuff belongs to us!  
  
That's right, and I used the coral, the sulfur springs and ash from your old campfires to make a powerful propellant that will have us in the shadow of Diamond Head in no time!  
  
Professor, what do you think? Is this possible?  
  
I don't know, Skipper. Despite the materials, this thing is incredibly sophisticated. And if my calculations are correct, these rails are on a direct line with downtown Honolulu!  
  
And I have tickets to the floorshow at the Wakiki Hilton, said Washu, so much as I love to hear people wonder at my genius, we really must be going.  
  
Oh, no you don't!  
  
Gilligan! Get off that thing!  
  
No way, Skipper! They've been tricking us ever since they showed up. Now it's our turn to trick them! I'm gonna take this thing and send back help!  
  
oh, dear, said Ayeka, the little ugly one is taking our sled.  
  
oh, my, said Ryoko, what ever shall we do.  
  
Try and show a little enthusiasm, you two, muttered Washu.  
  
I say, dear boy, said Howell. Can you get us back before the closing bell on Wall Street?  
  
said Skipper, because he's not flying that thing. I am!  
  
The professor objected, Now, wait ...  
  
Please. Professor! said Mary Ann. This is the first real chance we've had in years! Help me tie what's left of Ginger in her seat, and let's go!  
  
So the castaways belted themselves in and the Skipper lit the fuse. So long, Suckersss! yelled Gilligan, as the can-rockets flared and boomed, and the sled roared down the track and into the night sky.  
  
G' BYE! called Mihoshi. See ya! Enjoy Honolulu! G'bye! Have a nice trip!  
  
Tenchi came over to Washu. That was really a bad trick we pulled on them, Washu.  
  
  
  
Even I've had enough high school physics to know solid rockets that small can't carry seven people all the way to Hawaii. What's the range of that thing, anyway?  
  
Ninety kilometers, fully loaded. But with the charges, the range decreases dramatically ...  
  
  
  
Look, everyone, called Ayeka.   
  
Hey! Hold me up! Let me see! said Sasami.  
  
OOh. Oh! Ah! Whoa! Wow!  
  
Sasami smiled. I'm sure glad it was dark!  
  
Kiyone squinted at the horizon. Are those ... letters?  
  
That's right! With a clear night like this, it should be no problem for the weather satellites to pinpoint our position!  
  
Ryoko laughed. Good, going, genius.' You spelled it C-A-S-T-A-W-A There was a group sigh, and the girls started walking back to camp. I'm gonna try to contact Ryo-Ohki again. She must be hungry by now!  
  
Tenchi put a hand on Washu's shoulder. It's all right. I sure that will get someone's attention. He followed the others.  
  
Washu huffed. Give me a break, people. I only had seven people to work with!  
  



End file.
